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On My Birthday

My friend Diane wrote a post on her blog about turning 40. She recapped, in a few sentences, the decade she had just experienced, and shared her hopes for the next one.

This got me to thinking about my last decade. My 30's were a mixed bag. Meeting Devin was, of course, the highlight of my 30's, but there were quite a few other events tossed around in there.

I rekindled and strengthened my friendship with Diane. We have known each other for years, and our friendship has weathered some pretty rough times, but each year it seems we find more reasons why we will always be a part of each others' lives. We have gone through marriages (and matching divorces), freak dates by the thousands (between the 2 of us) untold numbers of bottles of wine (and pints at KB's)- I could go on and on. I guess this is part of the reason that my birthday this year hasn't been one of my best. I am homesick for possibly the first time since I moved out to Colorado, and I think one of the things I miss most is Diane. She just gets me. She knows I'm totally impractical, emotional and goofy. And she puts up with me anyway. I could have used some vino-Diane therapy today.

My family has gone through many changes in the last decade. Both of my parents have suffered ill health, and I worry about both of them quite a bit. I feel like I haven't been a part of my niece's and nephew's lives (especially in the last 3 years since I moved) and I need to stay in better contact with them. I miss sitting in the backyard talking with my sister. I miss talking with my Mom about everything (and nothing). Actually, I just miss being around to keep an eye on my Mom- you never know what she's gonna do. Her falling ill over the last 2 years has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with. It would be hard if I still lived in Savannah, but being 1700 miles away makes it even more awful. In short, I miss my Mommy.

My own health seems to have hit a rocky patch in the last couple of years as well. I have a whole new batch of things to worry about, and everyone knows I need more things to worry about.

With that said, I really am not miserable in Colorado. Meeting Devin was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He loves me more than anything, and he puts up with my messiness and my emotionality and my impracticality. Believe me, I am not easy to live with. I love Colorado and I love spending time with Dev's family. I just wish there was a way to magically compromise and have everyone together (or at least in the same state).

Maybe part of my funk can be attributed to the fact that I haven't yet built the kind of life here that I had in Savannah. One could argue that it took 37 years to build that life and it doesn't happen overnight. I realize this, but I still miss the frequent gatherings with friends (book club, Braves games, tennis, oyster roasts, etc) and being more active in the community. I am not singing anywhere and I'm not in a book club. Those two things were a pretty big part of my life back home.

Perhaps I should put into practice some kind of plan to work towards building a more social, active life here in Colorado. I have joined a wonderful group of ladies who knit on Wednesdays, and that has become something I look forward to every week. And I have friends at school, we just never get together on the weekends- maybe I should try to remedy that. There are probably tons of things I could do to build relationships here in the Valley.

But maybe just for tonight, I can cry a little and miss the things I left back home. I hope everyone back there knows how much I love them and miss them.

Tomorrow I will wake up, kiss the love of my life and begin my new decade in Colorado...who knows what the next 10 years hold for me!!


Ben said…
Happy birthday! I love what you wrote about the last decade of your life. I should probably do that since I just turn 30. Have a great day and don't drink too much, who am I kidding? :-p
Anonymous said…
Aww..I love you Mimi. I wish we could have toasted together as well!! Have in there! Di
Anonymous said…
We all miss you here :( Hang in there Mimi. I promise to stay in touch better as well :)

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